I'm not quite sure what happened today, I felt pretty good up until the end of my warm-up but I capped it off with a quite embarrassing performance--a measly 13.82m. It's funny, when I jumped 13.84m in Winnipeg last summer and get third at juniors I was estatic but today... Different story. I tend to get rattled easily unfortunately, as hard as it's going to be I'm going to have to take a step back and get over this. I have thirteen days until nationals.
I think that I over planned, I micro-managed every detail of my life for the past week in order to pb but I think I put too much pressure on myself. I thought I would be able to harness all the nervous energy that I was harboring and use it as motivation--the exact opposite occurred, I collapsed.
After things didn't start off well I hit the wall, the point where every thought was a negative one and I was quite flustered. I had no speed on the runway which I don't think was a physiological problem since I felt good warming up--something was just off. I defeated myself, it has not been a good day.

Jump 1- 12.90m: I had to bail this one, it just felt like two vertical impulses and I didn't take a jump phase. I slammed down very hard and felt a large vibration through my body. I'm not quite sure what happened.

Jump 2- Fault-- I don't know how far it was, I thought for sure that it was over 14m but now I'm not too sure. It felt a bit better but nothing special.

Jump 3- 13.81m-- the board was the main issue here, I was about ten centimeters from the board (by board I mean tape) would have been over 14... WOULD but wasn't, wouldn't have been a pb anyway.

Jump 4- 13.66m--this is officially where things went from bad to worse. I almost laughed at the distance when I saw it, it was 12cm lower then any other jump this season. I got pretty rattled. I think speed was the problem.

Jump 5-13.77m-- I was seeing red, I couldn't believe how badly I was jumping. Mentally I was gone, I had absolutely no focus... All I could think about was how unbelievable the series had been, There was nothing left.

Jump 6-13.82m-- I didn't stick around to even hear the distance I was so angry and flustered. It clearly wasn't a good jump. I came in a little faster but still not as I had been at the last competition I was in.

An all around bad day--hopefully Winnipeg will go as well as it did this summer... I can't haandle another day like today.