I went to bed last night with my confidence completely shattered, having convinced myself that I have reached the maximum potential that I would ever reach and that I would die a 14.38m jumper. My mind, as always, seems to be the problem--as soon as things start to go wrong they snowball until I am left completely faithless in my abilities--I lose faith in who I am and the training program I am trying to follow. I don't trust myself, my abilities or my knowledge. In my mind everything I do is wrong--that set of squats I just did isn't going to make me stronger but instead is going to make me flat and tired. That pb I had was because I was lucky not because I had been training hard. I think that I just need to take a step back and just relax--maybe just take a few days to go out in the sun and enjoy the summer before it's over.
   Before I went to bed last night I did something I haven't done in a while--I gabbed a bag of jelly beans and went to town. I felt pretty disguising while I was eating them but they did what I hoped they would--topped up my glycogen storage along with a few excess bowls of oatmeal I had a grand total of 660 carbs for the day. I felt a little heavy today because of all the water I was holding onto but it's the first time since the last time I competed that I felt like myself. My confidence is starting to come back slowly and I'm starting to believe that I am just beginning my journey. This time last year I was still desperate to jump over 14.00m and 15.00m was still a goal that was way off, seemingly impossible. Now I'm looking at 15.00m much the same way I used to look at 14.00m, with desire and optimism. I'm still a long way off, 62cm but I honestly think if I train hard and smart that I can break the 15.00m barrier next season. Then I can start to focus on the 16.00m dream...
   I did runways at the track today, I still didn't feel like I was getting to full speed but maybe it's just because my drive phase is so rocky. I didn't feel like my transitions were smooth but it's a start, at least I was focused. Tomorrow is going to be core and recovery and Friday will be another speed day--focusing on static starts (driving) and top-speed (flys). I'm hoping to be at 100% work capacity. I want to be rested for the next meet but I also want to be confident in my abilities which is going to be the biggest challenge. I need to take the pressure off of myself by just trying to have fun and enjoying myself--and most of all, try not to get rattled if I have a bad jump.

TODAY'S WORKOUT
400m jog
Warm-up
Dynamic mobility
Runways x7 (pop-up on the last three)
Weights--
Squats 3x5@275lb's, 3x3@185lb's
Explosive bench press 6x2@95lb's